Skunk Relocation 101

512_12091. Eat supper and through window spy “skunklet” rooting in deep hole dug by Tala, aka Diggy Dog.

2. Determine Diggy Dog’s location of guarding (in this case – 10 feet away and so enamored with a cob of corn she hasn’t even noticed said intruder).

3. Snort in contempt at Diggy Dog’s protective abilities and inform DH his dog is useless.

4. Go outside, camera in hand to take pictures of skunk for blog.

5. Find skunk. Or rather, don’t find skunk and give Diggy Dog a chance at redemption by coaxing her away from corn cob.

6. Beat back Tala, white wolf of protective fury, so that little skunk is no longer vibrating due to the extreme vocal outburst of said dog. Apologize to DH for dissing his dog.

7. Call out children from supper table to witness the tiny and trembling black and white bundle of cuteness.

8. Have great and lengthy discussion regarding whether skunks of this age can spray.

9. Decide they cannot.

10. Take many pictures.

11. Send children back inside to finish eating supper.

12. Stare at skunk. Notice his cute feet and beady eyes. Poor little thing has lost his mama.

13. Decide something MUST be done before Rio, Mighty Mouse Hunter and shaker to death of all small living things gets out of house and attacks baby. This on a scale of 1-10 would be a minus 8000.

14. Ignore DH who has decided boat maintenance is more important than relocating baby skunk. He can (and will) be punished later.

15. Return to abode and empty out bucket of slushy Margarita mix (to inexperienced skunk relocators – do not drink before attempting relocation – imbibing in tequila beforehand is for professionals only)

16. Wash bucket. After all, nobody likes a sticky skunk.

17. Take bucket and lid back to baby skunk location—deep in the bush by the birdfeeder where the mosquitoes are plentiful and huge.

18. Get bitten many times by said mozzies.

19. Chase skunk through underbrush, still believing with naivety that babies don’t yet spray.

20. Corner baby skunk and quickly, but gently place bucket over him. Slide lid under baby skunk’s feet and slooooooowly tip bucket.

21. Notice that baby skunks of this age DO spray. So much. So, so very much.

22. Say prayer of thanks and gratitude that it was not a direct hit.

23. Proudly march over to DH’s shop and tell him of your heroic endeavors. Ignore him when he tells you that you STINK. It’s just his way of expressing love.

24. Have DH carry bucket through fields to far away stand of trees, so he can stink too.

25. Release skunk.

26. Take many pictures.

27. Blog about it the next day, promising readers you’ll post pics just as soon as Blogger lets you.