Zen

Because it’s good to giggle, today I’m sharing a little list my fellow American Title Finalist, Cathy Pegau posted to our email loop just as the voting for Round Three started up…

ZEN FOR THOSE WHO TAKE LIFE TOO SERIOUSLY

1. SAVE THE WHALES. COLLECT THE WHOLE SET.

2. A DAY WITHOUT SUNSHINE IS LIKE, NIGHT.

3. ON THE OTHER HAND, YOU HAVE DIFFERENT FINGERS.

4. I JUST GOT LOST IN THOUGHT. IT WAS UNFAMILIAR TERRITORY.

5. I FEEL LIKE I’M DIAGONALLY PARKED IN A PARALLEL UNIVERSE.

6. HONK IF YOU LOVE PEACE AND QUIET.

7. HE WHO LAUGHS LAST, THINKS SLOWEST.

8. DEPRESSION IS MERELY ANGER WITHOUT ENTHUSIASM.

9. THE EARLY BIRD MAY GET THE WORM, BUT THE SECOND MOUSE GETS THE CHEESE.

10. I DRIVE WAY TOO FAST TO WORRY ABOUT CHOLESTEROL.

11. SUPPORT BACTERIA. THEY’RE THE ONLY CULTURE SOME PEOPLE HAVE.

12. A CLEAR CONSCIENCE IS USUALLY THE SIGN OF A BAD MEMORY.

13. GET A NEW CAR FOR YOUR SPOUSE. IT’LL BE A GREAT TRADE!

14. PLAN TO BE SPONTANEOUS TOMORROW.

15. ALWAYS TRY TO BE MODEST, AND BE PROUD OF IT!

16. OK, SO WHAT’S THE SPEED OF DARK?

17. HOW DO YOU TELL WHEN YOU’RE OUT OF INVISIBLE INK?

18. HARD WORK PAYS OFF IN THE FUTURE. LAZINESS PAYS OFF NOW.

19. EVERYONE HAS A PHOTOGRAPHIC MEMORY. SOME JUST DO NOT HAVE FILM.

20. IF BARBIE IS SO POPULAR, WHY DO YOU HAVE TO BUY HER FRIENDS?

21. EAGLES MAY SOAR, BUT WEASELS DO NOT GET SUCKED INTO JET ENGINES.

22. WHAT HAPPENS IF YOU GET SCARED HALF TO DEATH TWICE?

23. I USED TO HAVE AN OPEN MIND BUT MY BRAINS KEPT FALLING OUT.

24. I COULDN’T REPAIR YOUR BRAKES, SO I MADE YOUR HORN LOUDER.

25. WHY DO PSYCHICS HAVE TO ASK YOU FOR YOUR NAME?

26. INSIDE EVERY OLDER PERSON IS A YOUNGER PERSON WONDERING WHAT HAPPENED.

27. JUST REMEMBER – IF THE WORLD DID NOT SUCK, WE WOULD ALL FALL OFF.

28. LIGHT TRAVELS FASTER THAN SOUND, WHICH IS WHY SOME PEOPLE APPEAR BRIGHT UNTIL YOU HEAR THEM SPEAK