Subject: Tech-Support

>Dear Tech Support:
>
>Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0.
>I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected
>child processing that took up a lot of space and
>valuable resources.

>In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs
>and now monitors all other system activity. Applications
>such as Poker Night 10.3, Football 5.0, Hunting and
>Fishing 7.5, and Racing 3.6 no longer run, crashing
>the system whenever selected.
>
>I can’t seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while
>attempting to run my favorite applications. I’m thinking
>about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but the uninstall
>doesn’t work on Wife 1.0. Please help!
>
>Thanks,
>A Troubled User.
>
>______________________________________

REPLY:
Dear Troubled User:
This is a very common problem that men complain about.

Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0,
thinking that it is just a Utilities and Entertainment program.
Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its
Creator to run EVERYTHING!!! It is also impossible to
delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 7.0. It is
impossible to uninstall, or purge the program files
from the system once installed.

You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is
designed to not allow this. Look in your Wife 1.0 manual
under Warnings-Alimony-Child Support. I recommend that you
keep Wife 1.0 and work on improving the situation. I suggest
installing the background application “Yes Dear” to
alleviate software augmentation.

The best course of action is to enter the command
C:\APOLOGIZE because ultimately you will have to give the
APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to
normal anyway.

Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very
high maintenance. Wife 1.0 comes with several support
programs, such as Clean and Sweep 3.0,
Cook It 1.5 and Do Bills 4.2.

However, be very careful how you use these programs.
Improper use will cause the system to launch the program
Nag Nag 9.5. Once this happens, the only way to improve
the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional
software. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0 !

WARNING!!! DO NOT, under any circumstances, install
Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3. This application is
not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversible damage
to the operating system.

Best of luck,
Tech Support.