I’m finding myself in a bit of a quandary this day.

Each year RWA holds it’s prestigious contests recognizing the best in published and unpublished romance writing (The RITA and the GOLDEN HEART, respectively).

Now the RITA is a given — you can’t enter what you don’t have, but the GOLDEN HEART is a different ballgame.

Last year I judged in the category I’d be entering this year and remember thinking “My story is better than this. I’ve got to enter next year” (and keep in mind that this thought came without arrogance, because we all start somewhere in this business and the learning curve doesn’t ever go flat, no matter how well you write).

And then while attending Nationals in Reno this summer, watching all the winners go up on stage in a presentation completely reminiscent of the Oscars, I thought, “Next year that’s got to be me up there.”

So yesterday I was completely ready to enter RISING SIN, had filled out all my online forms, but then on the last page the website conked out on me and it got me thinking that it was a *sign* of some sort.

But what kind of sign? I asked myself considering both sides of the situation which is, as a few of you know, the ever present affliction I suffer from.

Right there on the website it says, “Check-out may take some time to complete. Be patient,” so perhaps the sign meant “How bad do you want this? Are you willing to fight for it?” or perhaps the sign was “Don’t subject your good story to this contest. You can do well without it.”

Indecision is a terrible thing. :/

But as I’ve written this, I’ve decided that I’m fighting for it. It’s only ever been in two contests, one of which it won (The Golden Opportunity) and the other, The Daphne, where it only missed finaling by a point and damn it, it’s a good story. It should be in the Golden Heart.

If Jessica decides to buy it before the contest deadline is up, I’ll be out $50, but I think I could probably handle it. 

If she doesn’t and it finals, I guess I’d be off to Nationals in Atlanta next summer to see how far it makes it. That’s definitely not a bad thing.

No guts, no glory, right?