American Title III – And then there were 4

Round four voting begins again today at Romantic Times. You’ve got until February 4 to cast your vote for your favorite dialogue scene.

January 2nd the voting guillotine descended yet again and this time contestants Judi Fennell and Kate Carlisle felt the blade. They’ve now joined the rest of us on exile island while Raz Steel (Pass the Kryptonite), Kim Howe (One Shot, Two Kills), Linda Thomas-Sundstrom (Barbie and the Beast), and Jenny Gardiner (Sleeping with Ward Cleaver) are on stage with their best writing word forward for the Dialogue Scene.

And because many of you are curious, here’s what you’d have seen from
Rising Sin…

SET UP – Zach and Taren are shopping to replace her stolen clothes.

“I like this one,” Zach said, holding up a bustier of barely there red lace.

“Hmm,” Taren murmured, trying not to imagine him peeling it from her body. “Sorry, I’m looking for function, not effect.”

“This is functional,” he defended.

Only for staging a seduction. She moved to the pre-packaged underwear with wide elastic waistbands. These were what she needed.

Zach approached with several colorful strings she assumed were panties. She shook her head.

He scowled, plucking her choices from her basket and examining them with open distaste. “You sure know how to ruin a good time.”

“There is no good time,” she said. “Get over it. Besides,” she waved her hand at his strings, “you try wearing butt floss.”

His eyebrow quirked. “I didn’t think you had anything against it,” he said.

“What are you talking about?”

“Last night, on the ladder…” his voice lost its gusto as she pierced him with a suspicious stare.

“No panty lines.”

“I thought I caught you checking out my butt.”

Zach only shrugged, clearly not willing to incriminate himself further.

“For your information, there were no panty lines because there were no panties.”

“No panties?” he asked.

“None.”

“So right now you’re not wearing…?”

“That’s right, soldier.” She moved in close. So close she could feel lust radiating off him in hot, heavy waves. “Commando. Right here, right now.” She tapped her finger on his hard chest.

“As.” Tap.

“We.” Tap.

“Speak.” Tap. Tap.

Zach’s eyes widened and his nostrils flared. Taren winked and spun on her heel, sauntering to the checkout while his burning gaze caressed her behind.

She smiled slyly. Zach Bodine wasn’t the only one who could deliver heat.

What Happens Next – Rising Sin Excerpt

PROLOGUE

Cold and shivering, the young woman lay naked on the worn tatami mat. Chattering teeth grazed the edge of her tongue and she winced at the bright stab of pain. The coppery taste of blood spurred her senses and she pulled in tighter, cocooning her frail body within thin arms, trying to conserve precious heat. Just returned from her daily bath, skin damp, hair still dripping, the room’s cool air easily wicked away what body warmth she had.

Her body slackened, a protruding hipbone digging hard into the woven straw beneath her. Dull pulses of pain coursed along nerve endings drawn taut with the beginnings of withdrawal, but for now, her mind focused on the biting chill of the air. Her head lolled at an awkward angle as more shivers racked through her, the convulsions overtaking her aching muscles. Would her body finally snap?

Moments, minutes, hours later—she could no longer tell—thoughts returned with vague clarity. As if suspended over her life in a silken web of confusion, she was held hostage in a macabre nightmare, never quite discerning truth from hallucination.

She was due for another dose of drugs—the throb in her temple had steadily increased to an intense pounding—and while she loathed the idea of being held captive to that, too, if someone didn’t come soon, she would sink. Into the darkest depths of desperate need and she didn’t know if she could live through that. There was no place more horrific.

Not even downstairs.

The door opened and her legs twitched, blind instinct overriding addiction for the smallest thread of time. The sharp click of boots on the floor sounded up through her pulsing skull—bogeyman’s teeth snapping and gnashing, daring her to run, to flee, but then as he bent, his clothes whispered, promising salvation and soon everything would be warm and bright and beautiful.

The glorious prick of the needle then and behind it, tiny flames licking at her chilled skin and elation so pure her eyes rolled back in their sunken sockets. The heat radiated from within her now, stroking her with a lover’s gentle touch as hot, vibrant colors spread through her limbs and happiness buoyed her spirit to new heights.

Safe and warm and loved, she drifted off to sleep.

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American Title III – Best First Line

Monday, October 16th, 2006

American Title 3 BannerRISING SIN (Romantic Suspense)

First Line:

Cold and shivering, the young woman lay naked on the worn tatami mat.

Judges’ Comments:

Flavia Knightsbridge — It’s a little passive, but I like the detail of the tatami mat. It might hint at an exotic setting that would make your book stand out from the suspense pack.

Hilary Ross — There could be lots of reasons for her condition (including being a prisoner in Japan!). I’ve seen similar first sentences, so this one isn’t that original.

Leslie Kazanjian — A vivid, evocative and atmospheric opening line that urges you to read on.

To read the other entries at the Romantic Times website and then vote for RISING SIN, click the button to the right. To vote now from my website click the button to the left.

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